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Monday

 

What Were We Talking About?



















By Ashley Ringstaff

Have you ever heard of people ‘zoning out’ or doing it yourself? I’ve done it a lot, particularly when I’m not interested in what’s being said. However, ever since my diagnosis, it seems to happen much more frequently than before; and I’m not even zoning out on purpose!

I get so frustrated with myself, because I’ll ask a question, or be talking about something with a friend or co-worker, then my mind just draws a blank. It’s like I see the words you are speaking, I can hear the noise you’re making, but my brain is not computing what your words are saying/meaning and computing in my brain.

Feeling guilty
I feel so bad, when I am having a conversation, and I have to ask people to repeat themselves. This can also be because I’ve lost some hearing, but it’s also because my brain is blocking the information to compute in my brain.

I know that some people have been put off when this has happened with me. Then I feel bad… and try and explain… but it’s hard to explain, unless you actually KNOW what I’m going through.

This can also happen when I’m thinking about something… working on something… etc. I can read an article online, word for word, and I will have absolutely NO idea what I just read. This tends to happen more frequently if I’m tired, it’s at the end of the day, etc.

Forgetting things almost instantly
There are also times that I will be engaged in a conversation, listening and responding… 10 minutes later, I sometimes completely forgot what we talked about. My husband has noticed this because we will talk about something, then like an hour later, I’ll bring it up to him… and he just looks at me weird, then informs me that we just talked about all this not even an hour ago.

I think he finally understands that it’s not on purpose. I think this issue can really be classified as memory issues and cognitive function… sort of a mixture. Let me tell you, where I work full-time, I have to remember mileage on an odometer of a vehicle at times. For example… I went out to a vehicle, checked the odometer and by the time I got inside to my computer I completely forgot the numbers. Mind you, I repeated them in my head the entire walk back to my desk. So I had to go back and do it again… and it happened again! So I ended up taking a picture of the odometer on my third trip, with my phone, so that I could have it plain as day in front of me.

So let me just issue a BIG apology to anyone that I’ve spoken to in the past, that I’ve had multiple conversations with about the SAME EXACT THING… I know I’m a broken record at times, but you will have to excuse my brain, it likes to go on vacations with out me, it appears.

I can tell that me asking people to repeat themselves, sometimes more than once… or bringing up things to them.. more than once, it can be exasperating to some… trust me, it’s exasperating for me as well, once I realize that we’re having a repeat conversation… I’m also embarrassed about it at times, to be honest.

Story Source: The above story is based on materials provided by MULTIPLESCLEROSIS.NET
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