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Saturday

 

The Relief of Lowering My Expectations on a ‘Soft Day’






















The mist that settled into our little town overnight was that thick, hanging kind of damp. It made me think of the film The Matrix, because it was as if the atmosphere around me had stopped in time, and I was left to dodge droplets of wetness suspended in the still air.

The previous few days had been clear, bright, and cold, the kind of winter days that make you feel like you should get out and get something — anything — done, which, as we know, can be difficult when multiple sclerosis (MS) is in the picture.

Whether or not I rose to that allure isn’t the point of today’s blog. Today, however, seemed to be a handwritten note from the universe excusing me from the day’s required activities.

Permission to Rest and Recover

When you couldn’t walk from front door to front gate without even your socks feeling wet, outside activities were off the table. The extra layers of moisture between my windows and our warm, burning star kept much of its light from brightening my house as well.

So I took advantage of a day that wouldn’t let me do much easily and did even less than that. I was kind to myself today in a way that required no excuses because of my disease. Nobody wanted to be out in this “soft” day if they didn’t have to be.

Sure, it’s good for the complexion,” someone might have said about this state of damp. But by not going out into it, I didn’t have to try to see the brighter side of the day. I didn’t have to fake it until I made it. I didn’t even have to embrace a positive attitude to feel good.

I watched the outside from the inside. The Pack and I were contented to putter. The house was clean (enough); it was a fasting day, so I didn’t have to concentrate on feeding  the outside temperatures had risen, so I didn’t need to build a fire.

Treating Myself Kindly

Today was a day to let my body and mind recover — from the holidays, from the year that was, and from the burdens MS puts on me. Today was a soft day in my little town, and I was soft on myself.

Why is it, I wonder, that I feel that I must wait until the weather gives me permission to struggle a little bit less? Sure, I always want to push my personal envelope, but some days I’m pretty sure where those edges are, and I don’t need to break a sweat to confirm it.

My body seems grateful for the break. My mind is surely calmer, and my spirit is at peace. I just hope I can remember this feeling when the sun taunts me into believing that hay must be made.

Story Source: The above story is based on materials provided by EVERYDAYHEALTH
Note: Materials may be edited for content and length

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