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Wednesday

 

MS and Relationships





















Image Source: TEENAGEADVISOR

Sometimes MS puts you (at least me) into a position you might not expect… I have been asked to sit on an advisory committee that is putting together a retreat for couples where one partner has MS (I must admit the hilarity as I’ve had three remarkably unsuccessful relationships since my diagnosis)!

Reading the pre-registration surveys that these folks filled out was a real eye-opener!!!

The place where each side of these relationship equations “lives” is hardly balanced.  For example, when asked if they felt there was a “healthy balance” in their relationship, 75 percent of partners with MS answered yes.  The partners without MS only answered 50 percent in the affirmative.

When asked “why” they thought the relationship was balanced, those with MS answered with words like “respect” and “adapt.”  Partners without used the words “work,” “support” and “understand.”

I applaud the couples who are taking time to address their relationships and trying to strengthen them.  Caryn and I attended such a retreat, sponsored by our chapter of the National MS Society, a couple of years ago and we gained greatly from the experience.

Then, I started thinking about the couples I know where MS is a factor, the single/divorced people I know with MS and those of you who have revealed your relationship status to us in the pages of Life with MS.  Something very stark came to light.

I only know of very few single people who have MS that are actively/successfully seeking a relationship!

Most people I know (or know of) who are coupled and have MS were diagnosed after they were married (or at least into a very committed place in their relationships).  It doesn’t seem to matter whether it be a man or a woman with MS, single or divorced, and I’m bothered by that.

When I headed back onto the dating scene many of you encouraged me.

In a follow-up posting on dating with MS we heard from even more of you on the topic.  We heard A LOT from you!

So, I just thought it would be a good time to chat about this topic again.

MS has affected SO many aspects of our physical selves.  Are we letting MS get in the way of a part that it need not?  Is “It’s just too much work” a viable answer when it comes to MS and a new relationship?  Is one bad experience reason for shutting down that side of ourselves completely?


It’s a little odd for me to have this discussion with you, sit on the aforementioned committee and be finalizing wedding plans at the same time.  I know that I am one of the lucky ones; finding an AMAZING person in Caryn at the time in my life and disease that I did!

Story Source: The above story is based on materials provided by EVERYDAYHEALTH
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