Daily News for Neuros, Nurses & Savvy MSers: 208,152 Viewers, 8,368 Stories & Studies
Click Here For My Videos, Advice, Tips, Studies and Trials.
Timothy L. Vollmer, MD
Department of Neurology
University of Colorado Health Sciences Center Professor

Co-Director of the RMMSC at Anschutz Medical Center

Medical Director-Rocky Mountain MS Center
Click here to read my columns
Brian R. Apatoff, MD, PhD
Multiple Sclerosis Institute
Center for Neurological Disorders

Associate Professor Neurology and Neuroscience,

Weill Medical College of Cornell University

Clinical Attending in Neurology,
New York-Presbyterian Hospital
You'll get FREE Breaking News Alerts on new MS treatments as they are approved

HERE'S A FEW OF OUR 6000+ Facebook & MySpace FRIENDS
Timothy L. Vollmer M.D.
Department of Neurology
University of Colorado Health Sciences Center
Co-Director of the RMMSC at Anschutz Medical Center
Medical Director-Rocky Mountain MS Center

Click to view 1280 MS Walk photos!

"MS Can Not
Rob You of Joy"
"I'm an Mom has MS and we have a message for everyone."
- Jennifer Hartmark-Hill MD
Beverly Dean

"I've had MS for 2 years...this is the most important advice you'll ever hear."
"This is how I give myself a painless injection."
Heather Johnson

"A helpful tip for newly diagnosed MS patients."
"Important advice on choosing MS medication "
Joyce Moore

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?



Matrimony and MS … in Sickness and in Health

“In sickness and in health.” These words are said by everyone embarking upon the exciting journey of marriage. Most are in love, excited about the future and hopeful they have found their happily ever after. Many of us repeat the words “in sickness and in health” without much thought, not appreciating the true meaning until the time comes to make good on the promise. To be certain, this is one of the most important vows a couple will take.

Heart disease has been my companion my entire life. I knew it also would accompany me into matrimony. My childhood cardiologist and I had several conversations about this subject. He was present when I began dating and we had some really intense discussions. My most vivid memory from that time was when he advised me to be honest about my medical situation. He cautioned me never to take away someone’s right to choose. He said that I needed a special man in my life, one who knew and accepted all of me. He avowed that not just any man would do. He has since transitioned, yet I will never forget the lessons I learned under his care.

My husband knew my story. I told him everything. The large scar in the middle of my chest, my badge of courage, is displayed proudly. He knew he was marrying someone with a chronic illness and he knew my heart health could change at any time. We had several profound conversations about what having heart disease meant for me and possibly for us. We discussed the concerns, limitations and expectations. My husband knew that heart disease would be a lifelong battle. He was prepared for that fight.

What neither of us knew, and therefore could not prepare for, was Multiple Sclerosis. It seemed as if that diagnosis knocked the wind out of both of us. The more we learned, the more frightening the disease became. Multiple Sclerosis was the unfamiliar stranger that now resided with us. We had to make room for it, giving it a space in our lives. We had to process this as a couple and individually. It was not easy. At times, it still is a difficult task. MS has affected my life — our lives — in ways I never could have imagined. Although I suffer physically, mentally and emotionally, my husband suffers alongside me.

Husband strong in sickness and in health

Husbands love their wives and are protective of them. My husband cannot protect me from my illnesses. I cannot count the number of emotional outbursts I have, the bouts of depression and anxiety, and the days and nights that pain and fatigue prevent me from having a “good” day. The times when my mind says fight, but my body becomes my adversary, confining me to my bed or my couch. The days when someone will say “but you don’t look sick” and I want to scream at them or cry to them. Yet, I hold it together knowing that every day of my life is a fight. My husband knows this. He sees. He does not have MS, but it has become his reality. He often worries I am doing too much and he is fearful of the probability and severity of relapses.

Since my diagnosis, I have read several blogs and personal articles that discuss the impact MS has on marriages. Some say that MS causes marriages to collapse because of the pressure and all of the changes caused by the disease. Marriage itself is difficult. It takes commitment, a strong foundation, and the ability to change and adapt to new situations. If one or any of these are lacking, it may very well lead to the dissolution of a marriage.

My illnesses are revealing so much about my marriage and what it is made of. Every day I realize why the other relationships I had did not work out. I don’t believe that any one of them could have, or would have, weathered the storms of my illnesses. In addition to being physically strong, my husband is strong in character. He is there with me at every doctor’s appointment, every hospital stay and every high and low. When I cry, he wipes away my tears. When I feel hopeless, he encourages me and tells me I will make it through. He reminds me he is here with me. I am certain he would carry my pain if it was possible. Every day he does what he can to make my burdens easier to bear.

In sickness and in health. I earnestly realize the magnitude of these words and what they mean in regard to marriage. It is easier to maintain a relationship when all is well. The truth is revealed when illness or adversity strikes. The one who will love you in the midst of and through an illness is a keeper. I pray every day for the health of my marriage and for the wonderful man who travels alongside me .. for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.

Story Source: The above story is based on materials provided by MULTIPLESCLEROSISNEWSTODAY
Note: Materials may be edited for content and length

Go to Newer News Go to Older News